You know that moment when something happens, you react and then say what was I thinking? What were you thinking? Did that thought, cause a reaction and change your life forever? How? Was it for the better? Alternatively, worse? Change your thoughts, change your life!
Thoughts, are individualized and unique to you. They create your perspective and ultimately define your world and possibly other people’s worlds as well. Think of names like Oprah, Walt Disney, Dr. Seuss, Henry Ford, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and Amelia Earheart to name a few. How many people in the world do you think know at least one of these names? How many did you recognize? Each of these people had a thought and their thoughts turned into creations, that impacted everyone’s world in one way or another (even if you don’t know their names). Interestingly enough, they all have a similar perspective on thoughts.
These people have changed our lives and the world over time, through the power of their thoughts. The best and most fascinating thing about thoughts is thoughts are unique to you. If I said to you, think of something blue, what did you think of? I thought of my Nana because blue was her favorite color and the color of her eyes. What comes to your mind? Maybe it was the sky or the ocean, maybe you thought of a car or a bottle of water. Why do we all have separate thoughts?
Individual thoughts are driven by the world around you, your childhood, the experiences you have, and your beliefs drive how you perceive them. Let’s look at an example. Have you ever seen your friend and they totally ignored you? How did that make you feel? What emotion did you have?
Thoughts from two different people two totally different perspectives, for example. One thinks, I wonder what has her so distracted, she always says hello when she sees me. The other thinks, I wonder why she is mad at me? What could I have done to upset her?
Both reactions were from the same scenario, why did the first thought seem so inquisitive, and the alternative so worried?
Each individual gets the pleasure of having individual thoughts and their own unique belief systems. In the first example, this person has a belief system that walks into the room and asks people about their lives, inquisitive and thoughtful. Other people’s perceptions do not motivate them or their thoughts. The alternate person would walk into a room and want to talk all about themselves. They are rooted in the idea that other people’s perceptions about them define them.
Imagine how it would feel if you always felt like the first person. Feeling relaxed and in control, totally authentic, not overwhelmed, a sense of self-worth, feeling enough, flooded with love and happiness. You can feel this way if you change the way you think.
So who are you?
How do you believe?
Do your beliefs align with your true self? Are they limiting you? Limiting you from feeling happy, and free, imprisoning you?
Common thoughts relating to limiting beliefs are “not enough” I am not good enough, not rich enough, don’t know enough, not smart enough, not talented enough. I can’t… I don’t deserve success. I am too young, I am too old, I am afraid to fail, I have to be perfect. If you are having these thoughts, you are not alone.
Would it surprise you to know that research has found you randomly think over 55,000 thoughts a day? Many of these are repeated continuously throughout your lifetime. You have had a barrage of teachers and leaders and parents shaping your beliefs pruning your tree into what they believe and passing those beliefs down generation after generation. Then you experience life, fears, and failures, and start building the belief system with walls that imprison you. Now your thoughts automatically go along with what you believe.
It is common to feel this way, it is not your fault, and the good news is you can change it.
I was a 9th-grade dropout and took my GED at 17 to get a second job. I had so many feelings of not being enough, feeling like I was stuck where I was and no one would ever think I was good enough to do anything other than construction, that was my prison. I was in an abusive relationship, also a symptom of my feelings of will never be enough, drowning the feelings of failure and sadness with whiskey and Budweiser, not to mention the prescribed pain pills. I went on with life day to day walls built high with no intention of being more than that, ever. Then one day my mom said to me, why don’t you go to college? I thought, what? Me college, do they take GED high school dropouts?
Well they do, she changed my mindset with that one question.
I questioned my entire existence at that point. I enrolled and became sober. I started learning and loved it. I even went for round two! I reinvented my entire life. I left that abusive relationship and found my true self. Now I am a Certified Empowerment Coach, I have an MBA, and PMP, and live an amazing life of helping others and adventure.
So how can you do it?
First, you need to be really clear on what you believe. Understand what your belief has destroyed. What has it held you back from? What are you missing out on? If I don’t change what will it cost you? Write it down.
Now remember how I asked myself a question, that is the first step. Question that thought, create doubt, and look for evidence. Is this my belief or someone else?
Personally, I thought I wasn’t enough, once I started doubting that I had internal leverage to start breaking down that prison wall. I acknowledged how I felt, deep down I felt like I was meant for more. No more would I let the thoughts and beliefs overcome the feeling of being meant for more. Once I acknowledged that, it was actually amazing because I never dreamed it was possible, I was so excited to feel like I was enough to be more, I even graduated with a 4.0!
Can you imagine that feeling?
How do you feel, when you say that thought or belief out loud? Does it feel right? Does it feel scary? Does it feel like total Bull Shit?
It is up to you to define, then you get to say what is true about this thought. Start planting the seed for your own Belief System Tree. Those roots from your past are there, they helped guide you and ultimately allow you to grow and develop outside of the boundaries the past had created.
When you look at a tree deep down it has the same system, and on top every year it grows, loses, regains, and grows again, ever-changing in form transforming and changing. Adding branches, growing leaves showing off their fall beauty, and starting over.
Your BS Tree transforms with your growth and transformation! Your leverage and how your thoughts shape your life.
Now you take that doubt you created about that belief you have and turn that around to match how you want to feel. Write down your old limiting belief and come up with the opposite. For example: I am unorganized and lazy, which can be changed to I am confident and committed to following a schedule and completing tasks daily.
What is yours?
How is this true? Make a list of people who inspire you that have overcome the same challenges.
Prove to yourself that your new belief is the reoccurring thoughts you think every day. Write on a daily basis, use your journal to track your progress. What you focus on is what you will find, it is important to maintain your thoughts and remind yourself you are enough!
Journaling promotes self-reflection and gives you the opportunity to spit out your thoughts, dreams, and emotions.
You may have a day like our person number two, writing your thoughts down and reviewing them, giving you the chance to ask yourself, do I really believe this? Is it true? My friend is really mad at me for no known reason. How does this align with your new thought process?
Alternatively, it is proven that journaling at night allows you to be fluid in your thoughts for the day, and allows your brain the ability to rest without having to remember everything for tomorrow and categorize everything you learned today. Journaling allows you to review your thoughts and to look for patterns showing up with underlying beliefs. These ones are sneaky but with some focus, and maybe a coach, you will be able to identify them.
I have developed a nightly journal that reflects on your beliefs and gives you a moment to let your mind wander and set yourself up for success and a great night’s sleep. It is a free resource, click here to get it. You can download it and change it to meet your needs.
There are other options as well, electronically I love Growthday Click here to check it out and You Know You’re A Bad Ass is also available, along with a good old notebook will do.
Conclusion
When you look at your thoughts and your overall happiness, it is up to you to change your thoughts. It is possible to go from an alcoholic high school dropout to a college degree, self-published author, and empowerment coach! It is all about how you believe and perceive the world and the thoughts you tell yourself.
Your mindset, confidence, and living an authentic life you call your own is your choice!